Why does he enjoy hurting me

I love her very much, but it seem like she is slipping into Alzheimer's disease. Nevertheless, despite the illness, she remains a very sexy woman, and she often asks me to make love to her and to make her orgasm. Is this OK, Doc? Or could I hurt her by having sex with her?

This is a very sad story. However, sex does NOT have any negative effects on the progress of Alzheimer's disease. So you will not hurt her by doing what she wants. And, certainly, she will be happier if you do as she requests. I got tears around my vagina when I had my second and third children. These have now healed, but they remain 'open'. I feel uncomfortable with them. Any suggestions, Doc? Tears or cuts should be fully repaired with stitches immediately after childbirth.

I am concerned that yours are still open, so I feel you should try and see a gynaecologist, who can look at these old cuts. It is possible that, even at this late stage, the 'gyno' could stitch them up for you. Don't laugh at me, Doc, but I have always been rather proud of my large scrotum. You see, it makes quite an impressive bulge in my shorts, especially when I am on the beach.

But I had to see a doc recently about a mole on my skin and she told me that my scrotum really had something called a 'hydro-seal'. And she wanted to put in a needle to take some fluid off. I am scared about this, Doctor. What should I do? And what is a 'hydro-seal'? OK, the word is actually 'hydrocoele'. This can come out as being emotionally unavailable , moody, unpredictable, spouting off with anger, or becoming domineering and judgmental. As a professional counselor and sex therapist Heather Davidson writes :.

Men might fear others, but also fear their own reactions acting out after a triggering or upsetting event. And while fear can be easy to hide in the short-term, it can ultimately lead to problems in long-term relationships. Serious underlying emotional damage can also emerge when a man gets lost in his issues and basically stops caring about or contributing to the relationship in any way. QUIZ: What does your man want from you? Take my quiz here.

One of the biggest signs a man is hurt emotionally is that he clings to the past. I know that in my case pain from past rejection, disappointment and depression have been hard to shed. This can be stuff from childhood and later experiences. I know that in my cases it includes childhood trauma and fears of abandonment as well as pain and anger over relationship disappointment and a feeling of other people getting what they want but not me.

This underlying resentment and bitterness have ruined potential new relationships because I let that pain from the past dominate my present. In trying to protect myself I actually tripped myself up and ruined some good opportunities, hurting the feelings of nice girls in the process. As psychologist Dr. Gail Brenners writes ,. But you keep getting stuck, over and over. QUIZ: Does he really love you? My fun new Zodiac quiz can help you figure it out, based on his Zodiac sign.

Check it out here. He shies away from the site of conflict and tries to protect himself. You can trigger his hero instinct. What it boils down to is the drive men have to live a life full of meaning and to earn the respect of those around him. But why is he so driven? Why does he desire so much? We could live with more purpose. Your man should ask himself why he wants to accomplish so much. To bring him down to earth, remind him how much life there is to live right now , in this moment.

This moment, between the two of you. Kiss his lips, hold his head in your hands. Tousle that hair and look deep into those eyes you love so much. Tell him he is enough. My ex, Mary, had to think that I was perfect and wonderful at all times. She was my entire support system, and my source of confidence and security. She was my everything. The low self-esteem inside your man creates an enormous hole.

He filled it with you, and sprinkles in other things like vices and attention from others. When you threaten to leave them empty again they go crazy or become irrational. Nor does he want to dominate you. Many guys with low self-esteem are living in the past. He may be guilt-ridden and woeful over opportunities he failed to seize. Maybe he regrets not doing better in school, or choosing a better college. He might feel like a failure and disappointment to his family. Who knows, the point is he rides himself down all the time.

You may feel sad because it seems all he cares about is making lots of money, accomplishments or fame. Or making his family proud. He may seem to leave you out of his utopian vision of the future. You love him exactly as he is, right? Tell him that right now. I convinced myself that I was helping by not giving her marriage or children.

I had no faith in my own goodness or potential. Knowing this may help you understand the complexity of a man. He needs to learn to love himself through the hard times before he can love you through the hard times. Sick, huh? I come in truth. This is a tough one to talk about. Self-esteem can get so low that a man gets validation from seeing his partner suffer. Seeing a person go through hell for us, feel pain caused by us — can actually give us pride. Your guy has to learn to love himself.

This includes all the deepest and darkest parts too, the parts that scare him to death. The unfaced and unfelt parts of our psyche are the source of all neurosis and suffering. Carl Jung said that, not me. If he only loves a certain part of himself like his looks, the rest of him will just go on undeveloped. In many ways I was like a child before. I avoided pain or sacrifice every chance I could, and I turned into a big man-child.

If this is happening to your man, you must stop it right away. In the end, you can get over this together. The bond between you will be unbreakable, and he will love you forever. His love for himself. Stick in there, but develop a plan right away. Not only is he suffering, you are as well. Take action now. If he refuses to draw a line in the sand and change his life, it may be time to walk away. Paul Graves writes about pain, shame, and better living through self-acceptance at TakeTheLemons.

He lives in Ohio with his 7-year old daughter and two cats. Paul is on Twitter and Instagram. Wow I can relate so much to this article in what I see in my partner.

My partner and I have been together for over 7 years now. My partner suffers from quite severe depression and low self esteem. This ebs and flows and is part of our life together but something I am always willing to support him through. However, what has confused me is that twice now he has sought the love and affection of other females. I have found out both times and he has apologized and explained that it is his coping mechanism for his depression and low self esteem and it is me he loves.

While he has not had physical relations with these other women, he has had an intense emotional involvement with them through sharing everything with each other, discussing potential for feelings, long messages about love — which hurts incredibly much.

I recognize this desperate need for validation and self assurance from others in him and have therefore accepted it both times. BUT, it hurts. Knowing and understanding it does not stop the intense hurt it causes me. Not to mention the distrust and feeling like an idiot. I should also add that during these times he does not become withdrawn from me and our sex life does not suffer.

He just has it going on the side. He has finally agreed to seek counselling as his depression is at an extreme low and I am hoping that will help him work through this issue that is so hurtful to me.

But, am I making excuses for my partner?? Emma, if you see this please reply so we can find a way to talk. Of all the comments I read on here I relate with you the most and I am going through the same thing!! Self love first! Thank you for the insight. All this I instinctively knew. Most women who instinctively partner for any length of time with fragile men are already compassionate, intuitive and empathetic.

I told my partner I loved him for who he is. It was a tender and beautiful love affair. It was vindictive and cruel. It was meant to hurt and humiliate and punish me for anything construed as a slight and it was vindictive, brutal, cold and cruel.

I tried so many times to carry him over my shoulder out of the burning building. He promised me the earth and most importantly, that he was ready. But I was buckling from the weight, bruised from the blows and had to save myself. You offer wonderful insights. Yeah all of this We do alright for awhile then he pull away. We dealt 30 plus years ago crossed paths again we got engaged year ago whew been like a roller coaster.

We Love either so much. He is a very good person ,but very broken. Of course No one wanted us Happy either… We were best friends, So happy together. Hope yourevdoing better. Our brains mess with us. As time goes on all the bad memories fade…leaving only ths good memories in our minds. Really stinks.

Leaves you over time with only the good memories of a bad situation. My son is a young adult of His depression, anxiety and low self-esteem are a heartbreak. And the strain of powerlessly watching him struggle daily is starting to take its toll.

Reading this has been amazing, only because it has felt like being able to look inside his brain and appease frustrations. I am off to get the book. Thank you. We were in a relationship for 4 years. I am more qualified than he is. He feels he would never be able to reach my level.

He says he cannot make me struggle with him. He wants to be friends now. Should I be friends with him even after the break up and help him get out of this mess? Or is it time for me to move on? Will he come back to me and is this just a phase?

Cos I know for sure he still loves me. This is a very good article. Wish I would have read it before I left my emotionally abusive bf of 7 years. It totally makes sense that he has low self esteem. I tried everything I could think of to make the relationship work, but I was losing myself in the process. It was a terribly painful decision to leave, but he made it very clear he was not interested in changing.

Since I left, he has even sent me messages that he is the one ending the relationship because I did the same thing to him that his ex-wife did leaving and he is doing great. God has our Hearts.. What we had was truly Beautiful and So many envied us..

No One had the Power to make me feel the way he did.. I felt so beautiful and Loved with him.. I agree. I just ended a relationship for a similar reason. It is harmful and he needs to heal on his own. It will hurt more to stay than to leave. He will always hold you in his heart and mind but go. You will never know how damaged a person is until you try to love them.

For me he ended up cheating with someone else then saying he loved her when she left him. He used me to comfort his heartbreak over another girl.

He only thought he loved her because she was a worse mess than he was. It all made me feel quite horrible, as I am sure based off of our 5 years together that I showed him more love and positivity than anyone else in his life. Refer him and heal yourself of the emotional abuse. It is NOT healthy to stay in a relationship with a man with low self-worth.

My ex and I had eight years together. The first four he says were wonderful, the next two fighting about nothing. He talked about his old girlfriends. He is That he used to have sex three times a day. It was distracting. Hid old gf committed suicide.

He criticized me a lot. Would record the fights he started. I started losing myself and said some mean things. It was a lot about sex. I am older than he is. He wanted me to wear a dog collar.

Wear corsets like the sluts he went out with basically whores. The first six or so years I took him to parties and we basically had a good time. He helped me move out of my house. I sold the house and want to move closer to my son.

He smokes cigarettes, huge amounts of weed and closes his door now to his office and watches porn. He kicked me out six months ago.

I thought he was loyal but he called his ex wife. So even though he keeps hurting you emotionally, you still love him because you believe in commitment. And although it hurts like a mother when your boyfriend inflicts his emotional wounds , you suck it up and keep going. By grabbing this free download, you agree to receive future emails from me. But you can unsubscribe at any time.

After all, you always scramble unsuccessfully to find counterarguments when he unveils your latest faults. Waiting, expecting, and wishing that it will. So although you feel like you go through hell every day, you keep waiting to arrive at a place that feels like heaven. So now you have the option to make new decisions going forward. You can do that in 3 steps. Look again at 1 Corinthians So how do you feel about that? But you should be able to talk about your standards for your love life and evaluate whether your relationship is living up to them.

You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace. Your love delights me, my treasure, my bride. Your love is better than wine, your perfume more fragrant than spices. Your lips are as sweet as nectar, my bride. Honey and milk are under your tongue.

Your clothes are scented like the cedars of Lebanon.